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"Change is not something that we should fear. Rather, it is something that we should welcome. For without change, nothing in this world would ever grow or blossom." – B.K.S. Iyengar
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"The wound is where the light enters you." – Rumi
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"In the process of letting go, you will lose many things from the past, but you will find yourself." – Deepak Chopra
I’m not coming back anytime soon? That’s it? How is that possible? I can’t believe it — have I just lost my home? The foundation of my safety, the place where I belong, feel connected, and can be myself. The place where I have a community of like-minded people, lots of support from my family and friends, and a strong unity with my origins. I need to leave all of it because... they took it from me.
A full-scale war of Russia against Ukraine started on 24.02.2022. I was abroad with my boyfriend at the time. We were shocked for the first few days, hoping that this nightmare would end soon. After some time, we realized that the war wasn’t going to end next week, next month, or even in a year, and we didn’t know what the future held anymore.
My boyfriend’s employer was a Canadian company, and they offered him a new contract in the country. I decided to travel with my partner, even though it was a tough decision. In August 2022 we moved to Canada.
All the plans for the future that I had been carrying in my head for so long, just disappeared in one moment.
Even though I was excited about our journey, exploring a new country and unfolding new possibilities, I was also dealing with a lot of grief, pain, and uncertainties. Additionally, I wasn’t feeling in a good place in my relationship back then, but fear of changing my life even more paralyzed me.
My present moment disappeared for a while because it was hard to enjoy it. I was either living in the past, dreaming about the world which didn’t even exist anymore, or imagining that in the future I would finally feel better.
It was time to be sad.
Despite feeling lost and aimless, I was lucky to have the type of personality that kept seeking answers and help. I decided to go with the flow of change in my life and to start doing something completely different — I did my very first Yoga Teacher Training here, in Calgary, AB.
I was familiar with yoga from 18 years old. Even though I was on and off the practice during different times in my life, I was always coming back to it. From 2017 it stick to me stronger.
During the time of such a big change as war and emigration practicing yoga and meditation helped me incredibly: coming back to the presence in my body, feeling strong and in control of what is happening to me, playing with poses, and allowing myself to feel joy again, and also learning. So I wanted to stick with it as much as possible and eventually share it with others.
But it was not enough
for finding the way to my previous self, the happy and carefree one, who was aligned with the world around her and believed in herself. I didn’t understand that she didn’t exist anymore, and I needed to create a new version of myself, but first – to release all the pain, shame, and fear from the body, which definitely were standing on the way.
Eventually, life sent me wise mentors, profound courses, and a like-minded community where I could work my way through the journey and find a sense of belonging. I learned about the mind-body connection, trauma response and all other somatic responses my body was creating. I discovered somatic exercises, which helped me to relax my nervous system, and movement meditations, which helped me to connect to my inner wisdom and work through those tensions consciously.
My new environment helped me to find my way inward because that’s where all the answers lied. I could find again the safe and peaceful place inside me, and now I refuse to lose it again. It’s where I belong — forever. From that place, a new reality has been created for me, one that is whole and integrated with my previous experiences and my true self.
It’s a path that leads me to the person I want to become and everything I want to achieve in this life.
And it’s a path of sharing, helping and serving others with all my knowledge, experience and faith.
And in this new reality, in the space of alignment with myself and the World, the idea of my next journey was born. Deep inner knowing that I have something that could serve others and that I'm capable of creating a safe healing space for those in need led me to this point. I did find guidance when I needed it, and now I want to offer that guidance to other women, who, like myself 2 years ago, now experience tough times of change in their lives.
Here I am, telling you my story and inviting you to be a part of a community, where we grow together, and help each other to find that special sincere true self who lives inside of each of us and is meant to thrive in the world.
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